French Toast Girl

Please, try a pee

As I had been steadily losing my voice* for the past few weeks due to the constant repetition of key phrases and the high volume in which I have to yell to make myself heard, Paul has made me a couple of handy recordings. This is my favorite one. (The other so far is "Please clear the table." I'm also hoping for the combo "Go try a pee and put on your pajamas".) Please feel free to download it and use it in your house. The secret is to loop it so that they HAVE to go try a pee to so that you will make it stop.

Enjoy!

PleaseTryAPee.mp3

*voice is getting better, thanks

Labels: creativity, family, kids, motherhood

french toast girl

Brave

The month of February was sort of a blur - I was either extremely exhausted, incredibly stressed, or both at the same time. Add in birthdays and parties, a loss of voice that is still straining to come back, and you can see how badly I needed to go on the Mother's Retreat this weekend. I was struggling sometimes to have enough strength for the next hour, let alone the rest of the day.

It's hard to put into words how amazing this weekend was for me. I'm still a bit emotionally wiped out, but I'm so grateful for what I learned. I don't want to get into too many details now because everything's so new for me right now and I'd like to let it all simmer for a while.

I can share some of my notes though:

Jesus took time out for himself to pray, and so should you.

We lead our family by experience - our children will look at our actions, not our words, to see how we live our lives.

Women are vessels of faith.

We are daughters of the King - do you act like one?

Positive fear is an act of faith (as opposed to a negative/destructive one)

"One act of thanksgiving in trial is better than 1000 in good times." ~ St. John of the Cross

Acceptance is NOT a weak response.

Surround yourself with women who hear your heart and do not judge.

They are the 10 commandments, not the 10 suggestions.

You cannot love the God you can't see if you cannot love the brother or sister you can see.

"A good example is contagious." - St. Augustine

"I give all my children courageous hearts" (unfortunately, can't remember what verse this is from)

"Life cannot have meaning without prayer." - Pope John Paul II

Trust is like the toddler letting go of the table learning to walk, or the child riding a bike without training wheels - it doesn't happen all at once, it takes lots of practice.

Good prayer does not always result in good feelings.

Prayer doesn't have to have words to still be a prayer.

You can pray for the desire to pray.

What does "holy" look like? You and me.

"The glory of God is woman fully alive." - St. Ignatius (I think?)

Worry and anxiety are burdens that keep you from being fully alive.

Surround yourself with faithful friends.

I also heard this song on the weekend and loved it, and then when I was driving home right after the retreat, guess what song was on the radio? The line that pretty much sums up everything right now is "The way it always was is no longer good enough." It's time to get brave.

Labels: faith, motherhood

french toast girl

february newsletter

I am still alive! :)

The February Newsletter is up... and I am off to the annual Mother's Retreat. Lots more when I get back. ♥

Labels: motherhood, site news

french toast girl

Summers at Blue Lake

I know two fantastic, artistic Mamas - Jill and Michelle - who along with me have formed our own little Divine-Mama-Art-Society. We've made a tight circle who unfortunately don't live close to each other, but we stay in close contact through emails and Skype and the occasional package. We met on SARK's Marvelous Message board many years ago and gravitated towards each other as women who were serious about their art, and serious about being fantastic moms.

Jill's first book, Summers At Blue Lake, is coming out tomorrow. I have had the pleasure of getting to read it and I think it's just great. If you like Sue Monk Kidd, you should most definitely check this one out. There is so much fluff-lit out there, with the same recycled plot and stupid characters, that it's a relief to read something engaging and entertaining like Jill's story. You can read a book description and more here.

Help a new author out... If you know of any bookclubs, reading groups, or small bookstores you think might be interested in reading, purchasing, or doing anything else with her book, please let her know. She's available to book clubs over the phone (she'll call in), and she's doing readings and interviews at different book stores in Pennsylvania, where she lives.

I am so incredibly proud of Jill and how she's managed to write, paint (she's a fantastic artist and photographer), design, decide her job wasn't doing it for her and quit, be a wonderful mom and wife, and have two more books waiting in the wings. She and Michelle inspire the heck out of me (Michelle will be getting a post dedicated to her soon) on pretty much a daily basis. Their kids are all older than mine, and when I would be in the depths of despair, they would encourage me that things would get easier and to keep creating. Jill's book is out; Michelle just got her proofs back from the printer for her book with her illustrations... I have some catching up to do! :)

♥ ♥ ♥
ps ~ I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, but I have been doing a whirlwind of a (good!) dance around here. More to come....

Labels: inspirations, motherhood

french toast girl

Packaging Girlhood

I just finished the most amazing book: Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing our Daughters from Marketers' Schemes. I highly recommend this for any mom or teacher (and isn't that what all moms are anyway?) Plain and simple, the authors break down how girls today are targeted by marketers every step of the way, through what they see on TV to what the covers of board games have on them (by the way, not ONE had a girl winning the game.)

In our house, we don't watch commercials, even the ones on PBS. :) Although some of my sitters have been aghast to hear that my kids don't watch Disney films, the only thing my kids have seen is Mary Poppins. (No offense to you if you like them, I think 4 is far too young to pretend your prince needs to rescue you. Not to mention every "princess" in the movies has no mother, who has been conveniently killed off because she interferes with the plot. But I digress.) And while I thought that I was being a little overprotective, after reading this book, I'm glad we've taken that approach.

The book points out how "Girl Power" has been taken over by marketers to mean that you have the power to make yourself attractive to the opposite sex. Or that you can buy things. Your choices are pink, sparkly pink, and purple (don't believe me, go read the chapter excerpt on Amazon and see the research these women did.) Your choice is to be either one of the guys, or to try to get one. Seems cut and dried, but once you start looking, you see examples of this everywhere.

Luckily, the authors also point out ways to have good discussions with your kids, as early as preschool, and to let them be aware of what's around them. They never say "don't be a cheerleader, play the flute, like ballet, be girly", but they do point out that girls have a billion other options (play soccer, play the drums, take up kickboxing, and you can still be girly). They help you show your girls that marketers are trying to manipulate them, and that they are smarter than that. I've taken it a little further and make sure we mention everything in front of Petey too; this way he grows up understanding that girls (especially his sisters) are more than just pretty faces.

One of the things we do is just comment on things. Like the kids play dress up, and Angela yells, "I'm a fireman!" So I tell her, "Well, you're a fire fighter, because both men and women are brave and put out fires, right?" Or we watch Curious George, and I say, "Wow, isn't that great that Professor Wiseman is such a smart woman! Do you think she's a good scientist? Do only men get to be scientists?" And we talk about it.

Do you see this in your own kids? What do you tell them? Do you think this is a bunch of hooey and I should just put in The Little Mermaid DVD already and shut up?

Some more great reading:
The Paper Bag Princess: We're loving this book. What makes a princess a princess? For certain, it's not her clothes.

What's Wrong With Cinderella? A must-read for every mom. Because as the author tells her daughter, "It's just, honey, Cinderella doesn't really do anything."

Commercial-Free Childhood: Great site that shows how many strange places marketers are trying to get your kids' attention and build brand loyalty at a very young age.

Labels: kids, motherhood

french toast girl

How we do it

The following is from a note I wrote to my Walking In This World group, which has a few mamas in it who are trying to make more time for their art in a schedule that's already jam-packed. I figured I would share what we do in the hopes that it helps someone out. Feel free to add your own advice in the comments. :)

..................

LOTS OF UNSOLICITED ADVICE TO FOLLOW - FEEL FREE TO PICK/CHOOSE/IGNORE ;)

Have you considered hiring a sitter for Sunday afternoons? We have sitters (High school girls) come in for 2 hours every night just to help me feed the kids and get them off to bed, b/c my husband teaches music classes every night until 10ish.(I can do it by myself, but it's difficult with the three under 4 and trying to be supermom has gotten me sick many times from exhaustion.)

Anyway, so my kids are familiar with the girls (not to mention Grandma!), so sometimes we have one of them come on a weekend afternoon for a few hours to play with the kiddos while we get our own work done without them around. I have painted, written letters, and just napped while they've come over. And then I'm refreshed when it's time to make dinner and see everyone again. Or sometimes, we just order a pizza so I don't have to cook. Or we have pancakes for dinner. :) We pay $8 an hour for the girls to be there for 3 small kids, and we're right there in the house in case they need us for any reason. This seems to work out well for everyone.

I also think that you need to make sure that your husband understands how important your art, and time to yourself, is. You can ALWAYS say, "His work is important!" but so are you. My husband was incredibly supportive while I was doing The Artist's Way (still is), but I still have to point out to him that we almost always get a sitter so he can work, not the other way around. :)

Not sure if financially this is possible, but since you are working, you might want to look into hiring cleaning help. I know this sounds extreme - it did to me when my husband suggested it, I thought, good lord! I can clean my own house! We don't have funds for that! But we wound up spending at least one day every weekend doing nothing but cleaning the house. And that just sucked. (Keep in mind also that my husband's studio is part of the house, and we have 75 people coming and going and using our bathroom each week. :) So we have a super-nice lady come every other week to clean the house and it is SO WORTH IT TO ME to not have to spend all my time scrubbing the stove top or cleaning the toilets and whatnot. Anyway, you might want to look into it - figure what your time is worth, what your sanity is worth, and see if this could possibly be an option for you.

Regarding bedtimes - this is the thing that saves me - we are incredibly regimented with our bedtime procedure. I have had other moms tell me, "My guys will never do that." Ours do becuase we MAKE them do it. And don't take no for an answer. I am so fiercely protective of my evening time (for my sanity) that bedtimes are strictly enforced. :) They also know the routine so well that I don't dare skip a step or do it out of order, or they call me on it.

My three all go to bed by 7:30, 8 at the very latest. By 6:30, I mention that we all need to start cleaning up. They all have to help put away their toys themselves, because I can't possibly do it all myself (the sitter helps too, but we mainly want the kids to do it themselves.) Then they have to try the potty, and everyone gets into diapers/pullups and into their PJs. Everyone should be dressed and everything put away by 7ish. Then they each get to choose a picture book and we all snuggle on the couch and we read to them, or what happens when a sitter is there is that she reads and I run upstairs and make sure everything's ready - make the bed that Peter's flung blankets all around the room, or fill their humidifiers, etc. Weekend nights when Daddy is there we get the laptop and watch 1/2 hour of something - the Muppet Show, vintage Sesame Street clips from YouTube, Classical Baby, Schoolhouse Rock.

By the time the books are read, we all go upstairs. They know they all have to walk up - not get carried - or they go straight to bed. We brush teeth, go into Peter and Angela's room and say (or sing) our prayers, and then do our "thank you God"s where they tell us things they're happy about, and we ask God to watch over our family members/friends who are sick. Everyone smooches each other, it's 7:30 and time for the sitter to go home. The twins hop in bed with threats from me of what will happen if they get out, :) and I close the door.

Sophie tries a last pee, then she hops in bed and tells me Three Nice Things about her day, which is kind of a gratitude list. We read one more story - very very short, like a poem or something, switch off her flashlight, smooch, and she's done. If she's not sleepy, she reads in bed - she has a flashlight that's easy for her to turn on and off. By then, it's 7:40. They mostly stay down for the evening, and I have until 10:30 when Paul is finished to do my own work. They also know that after they go to bed, Mama is painting. And they're interested in that too, especially if they know that they get to see it the next day.

Anyway, don't beat yourself up, and don't give up either - you're doing great things for yourself just by trying to work through the book and by trying to learn more about yourself and your art.

Hang in there!

love, Elena

Labels: art, family, kids, motherhood

french toast girl

ART, iNSPiRATiON, AND WHY LiFE iS LiKE FRENCH TOAST.